“We are part of kids’ lives, kids are not part of ours”: Riteish Deshmukh on one parenting mistake many parents don’t realize they’re making

Riteish Deshmukh with his family. (Instagram/@geneliad)

There is a moment in almost every parent’s life when the roles quietly begin to reverse. The child who once wanted to hold your hand everywhere slowly starts running towards friends, school, sports, hobbies, and a life of their own. It can be difficult to accept, but perhaps that’s exactly how it is meant to be.Bollywood actor Riteish Deshmukh recently shared a simple parenting thought during a podcast, one that many parents online are resonating with. Instead of talking about expensive schools, gadgets, or perfect parenting techniques, he spoke about something much more important: showing up.

The message he shared was simple: Children should not be expected to fit into their parents’ busy lives. Instead, parents should make an effort to become part of their children’s world.

“We are part of kids’ lives, kids are not part of our lives”

Riteish Deshmukh with his family. (Instagram/@geneliad)

“We are part of kids’ lives, kids are not part of ours. So that is a very important distinction that’s to be made,” Riteish said. It is a simple sentence, but it completely changes the way many parents think about family life.Often, parents unknowingly expect children to adjust around their schedules. If there is work, a meeting, or a social commitment, children are expected to understand. Family plans are made according to adult calendars, and children’s activities sometimes become secondary.Riteish believes the approach should be the opposite. “So today is their football match and we have to be part of it. It is not that I’m shooting, you come.”His point isn’t that work doesn’t matter. It is that when possible, parents should step into their children’s world instead of expecting children to always enter theirs.

Childhood has its own priorities

Riteish explained that children have lives that deserve the same respect adults expect for their own. “Of course, they’ll come one of those days. But their lives are important and we have to be part of it. Sometimes, many of us make mistakes where we want to make kids part of our lives. They have their own life. They have their social life.”For a child, a football match, dance performance, debate competition or school event may feel as important as an important office presentation feels to an adult. Recognizing that helps parents see childhood from their children’s perspective instead of their own.

Sometimes parenting simply means showing up

One of the most relatable parts of Riteish’s advice was his description of what weekends look like for many parents. “They have to play sports, whatever. You have to stand there every Sunday, every weekend, even at 8 o’clock, with an umbrella, with two water bottles, and you’re sitting and watching the football match. Because that is what they have to do.”There is nothing glamorous about standing in the sun or rain at a sports ground early on a Sunday morning. It may mean sacrificing sleep, cancelling other plans, or spending hours watching practice sessions.But these ordinary moments often become the memories children carry for life.

Time moves faster than parents realize

Riteish Deshmukh with his family.

Perhaps the most emotional part of Riteish’s message was his reminder that childhood is temporary. “So we have to be part of their lives. And there’ll be a certain time for 10-12 years that they’ll want you because you’ll be the most special person in their lives.”Young children naturally seek their parents for comfort, encouragement and celebration. They want parents in the audience, on the playground and beside them during important moments.But that phase does not last forever. “Post that will be their friends and girlfriends or whatever they choose in life. Then it is gone.” As children become teenagers and eventually adults, friends, relationships and careers naturally begin occupying more space in their lives.That isn’t a sign of bad parenting. It is simply part of growing up. Which is why Riteish ended his thought with perhaps the most important reminder of all: “So value this time that you have.”

Parenting lessons from Riteish Deshmukh‘s advice

His words offer more than just an emotional reflection. They highlight parenting habits that can make a real difference.Be present, not just availableBeing physically at home isn’t always the same as being involved. Watching your child’s match, listening to stories after school, or attending a school event tells children that what matters to them also matters to you.Treat your child’s schedule with respectAdults expect others to value their work commitments. Children deserve the same respect for their games, competitions, performances and friendships. It teaches them that their interests are important too.Don’t wait for quality timeParenting isn’t built only through vacations or birthdays. It grows through ordinary mornings, car rides, practice sessions and everyday conversations. These small moments often create the strongest emotional connection.Accept that childhood is a limited windowParents often assume there will always be another weekend or another school event. But childhood passes quietly and quickly. The years when children actively want parents beside them are fewer than they seem.Your presence is often more valuable than perfectionChildren rarely remember whether parents had the perfect words. They remember who was cheering from the sidelines. Simply showing up consistently can become one of the greatest gifts a parent gives.In a world where parenting advice usually revolves around academics, screen time and extracurricular success, Riteish Deshmukh’s message is refreshingly simple. Children don’t always need parents to entertain them, solve every problem or create perfect memories. More often than not, they just need parents who are willing to enter their world, while they still eagerly invite them in.